Fuck you. Seriously. Shut the fuck up. I'm tired of your bullshit. "Kids in the PI know how to cook at 9, and look how old you are. You don't even know how. You're all just a bunch of lazy kids" "Kids your age don't have their parents do their laundry." Oh really bitch, really? You're the bitch ass nigga who takes my damn clothes and voluntarily cleans it. I'm not asking you to. You TAKE it. So stop your bullshit and give me legit reasons why you're mad. Because honestly I don't care if I disrespect you anymore. You don't treat me any better. I'm done with you. I WANT you guys to divorce already. I'm fucking tired of your face. Your voice. Your prescence. Shit everything! I don't like you at all. Have a fucking great time in the Philippines. You ungrateful piece of shit person that I call "mother." You don't even deserve that title. -__-

Today's a good day! SO much better than last week's Job Site day and way better than yesterday that's for sure!
I had bomb ass sleep.
Made Jan look cute for picture day.
Work was good, my supervisor is really nice.
Got boba after work.
And now I'm just kinda bummin it (;

Lol yesterday was such a bad day. Well the day wasn't, just my mood. He always knows the right things to say, and that's what makes things so good. Because I can't seem to stay mad at him no matter how much I get mad it goes away instantly. He has that power.. tsk tsk. Well I gotta go get ready for work. Woohoo -_- sike, I'm gonna knock the fuck out later on. Haha then do homework then probably have a late night talk with Aaron. Maybe.

I've been a bitch all day -_-

First that little twat of a freshman in my freshman guidance class gave me attitude. This nigggga. Really? I have no tolerance for that shit, so she got on my bad side. I gave her attitude back and I guess it brought tension into the classroom and Mr. Severson laughed at me. Lol

Thennnn, Aaron pissed me off. This is my first time acting like a bitch to him. He used to ALWAYS say "have a great day love you" or some shit like that every fucking morning and now or lately he just stops texting me before school starts. I hate feeling like I'm talking to myself. At least carry on a damn conversation, if you can't fucking leave. Tell me you gotta go or some shit before I get mad like right now -_- geeez. And that's the thing that pissed me off because the bitch didn't text me ALLLLLL DAY today, and he goes "I stayed home today." You couldn't have the decency to stop and call or text your gf hi? Or ya know let her know you're staying home? You're fucking lovely. You stay home all day yet you don't talk to me. AT ALL. Thanks. It just.. it reaaaally gets on my nerves how you make me feel like you either don't want to talk to me, or you're annoyed by me, or I'm boring you or something. Ughhh you just irk right now. If you don't feel like talking, all I want is for you to tell me. That's all. I'm fine with you telling me that because I get those days a lot. But you don't. You take FOREVER to reply to my text messages. I NEVER text people. I hate texting, and when you do that to me it's like.. wtf. Do you care to talk to me or what? Are you busy? Just tell me. It takes you 3 to 5 hours to reply to me, and sometimes I don't even bother to even want to talk to you after that. I don't want to wait for you to talk to me all the time. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe certain things you say too. You're already telling me small lies that are so unnecessary. What else are you going to do to me? I just.. *sigh* I don't know..

I can't believe I have 2 freakin C's right now. It's the 5th week of school. This has gotta be a joke. I've been doing well in school other than the fact that I've procrastinated. But ughhhh -_- I gotta get these up maan.

October first.
My 1 monthiversary with Mr. Aaron Baker <3
I have to take my SAT test that I haven't studied at all for -_-
Sarah's birthday! Jan and I will be going to her Halloween party. I hope I follow through with the cowgirl costume. I don't really have those clothes though. I'm going to need to go shopping tomorrrrrow. Lol

I remember on 9/11th this year..

he was such a cheeseball. We're such a cheesy couple, I swear. Hahaha I don't care though, we're cute. Bitches can stay jelly (:<
Aaron: "So my step mom got me a wristband that says "I forgive" good thing I need something to remind me to forgive you.
Me: Forgive me? For what?
Aaron: For stealing my heart. ^_^ Lol

Hahaha, that kid I swear. He wasn't kidding though. He actually does have a bracelet that says "I4Give" That would've been a great pick up line. Smh. Lmao

Hehe (:

Me: HEY YOU (;
Aaron: Hey babe
Me: Wanna know a secret?
Aaron: Yes
Me: You complete me like nutella and bread (: Lol d'awww. I'm so cute and cheesy. Hahaha
Aaron: Lol Awwww I love you so much

So I updated my calendar for October. That bitch is no different from September. Lol Senior year has been amazing so far but I didn't know I was going to be this busy. What the haaail. Haha Aaron is going to be upsettttt. Oopsies >:P

Honestly.. I can't believe I broke down and cried this morning -_- It was unnecessary, I didn't have to cry. Ughhh, I hate crying. It's even worse when I'm mad. I haven't cried for a lonnng time. Why now.. ugh. Whatever. I guess it's because I didn't realize it would be so hard to be in this relationship. EVERYTHING is sooo good. Nothing is wrong at all, except for the fact that I don't see him as often as I'd like to or talk to him for that matter. Yeah, we speak to each other everyday but it's not the same as actually having conversation. All we do is "How are you?" "How's your day?" "What are your plans for the day?" No. I don't want that :\ I feel bad for getting upset. I don't want to be, but I am ya know? "I'm sorry being upset earlier.." "No, don't be sorry. You had every right to be upset." I'm just really glad to know how understanding he really is. *sigh*

What the actual fuck doe.
Okay so first off, I turned down my nomination because I wanted to spend it with Aaron. I decided, "Oh I'm going to spend homecoming weekend with my bf and we'll go on a date or something." But then I found that he had to work.
Reaction: Fuck that sucks. Oh well, what can I do, he's working.
I let it slide right? So I tell him, "You're going to my homecoming game with me (:" Because I wouldn't see him at all this weekend because of work. I've been excited this whole entire week, and then tell me why he last minute tells me "Oh that's what I forgot to tell you.. I'm going to be doing paper work all day today, so I'm probably not able to go anymore." Stab in the fucking heart. -_- "Why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't find out until today, I've been waiting for an email and call all week." Like who wouldn't be upset? Honestly, I'm not mad at him. I'm just sad at the fact that I don't get to see him all the time. We go to different schools, I'm busy during and after school, I'm so involved it's not only Aaron that I don't talk to. I get it, we both get busy and stuff and it's totally understandable. I don't mind. It's just that, not being able to see him often and rarely talking sucks. It makes me miss him. Yeah we speak to eachother everyday, we saw eachother just last weekend, but that's not enough for me. Call me selfish, but it's not. Because even if we spent last weekend watching a movie we didn't talk about anything. I want to really talk about something, about life or get to know him ever more ya know? I'm just.. upset. Idk, I'm trying to hide it from him but ehhh. Whatever.

Pawk dis shit maan.

So this is a run down for this week.
Tomorrow I start at 9:50 get off work at like 4, go home finish hw, then sleep.
Thursday I have to come after school and make palm trees and shit for KIN clubs float then tennis game to support Abby love (:
Friday I'm at school all day, homecoming assembly, finishing up the float, then the parade, then homecoming game. I better see Aaron. I will be sad :\ Because I won't get to see him at all this weekend. And it's homecoming weekend for crying out loud! That nigga's working on Saturday and Sunday -___- ughhhhh. He just haad to be in the military damnit. Lol just kidding. But uhhhm, I hope we have our first date soon. I would love to. Last Sunday was soooo not our first date. We had our siblings, and his step mom there. Nuh uh, that's not cutting it for me. Lol It was more like quality time.. sorta.. ish. Hahaha

PAL really stands for Procrastinators At Life

This is some booooooshit. Lol I hate the fact I've procrastinated 10x worse than I did my previous years. The hell is this madness bro. I needa get back on the wagon, cause I can't have senioritis now. It's only been 4 weeks of being a senior. Not now. I'm starting my job site tomorrow! I'm excited. Yet nervous. Ha I'm going to be interning at a Bridal Shop, I originally wanted to have a pharmaceutical job site but sadly it's full :P Oh well, it's okay. I can think of how I want my wedding dress for the future. Or I can get hook ups for like things for prom! Like tuxes and maybe dresses. Yeaah buddy (;

D'awww. Lol :)

Me: I can't seem to find my heart! Check your pockets mister! I think it's in there (:<
Aaron: Why yes, yes it is dear.
Me: Lol I love you (:
Aaron: Love you too dear. Why so lovey dovey right now?
Me: I don't know, that's not the reaction I expected :P you question my lovey dovey ness maybe I should stop?
Aaron: Lol no I love it and what reaction were you expecting?
Me: I expected more of a "Lol you're a dork but I love you" but nooo. Mr. Baker over here just had to question my silly lovey dovey moment. Lol (x
Aaron: Lol but you already know I think of you that way.
Me: Haha I know. Oh welll, the moment's gone.
Aaron: Nooooo bring it back!!!
Me: Lol it's great ya know? That you're my bf. Now a days it's hard for me to stay sad bc I know you love me (: you make me sincerely happy. Just thinking about you cheers me up. Like today, I was bummed in the morning and I took out one of your recent letters, and it cheered me up. Thats why I had such a great day, bc of you. I love you so much <3
Aaron: I love you so much dear more than you will ever know.

It's so crazy how busy I've been this whole entire month. With ACTs, to homecoming decorating, and meetings for KIN and Honor Society. It's ridiculous. I practically live at the school -_- But I'm content. All our hard work on decorations, I know our hallway will win. Our school is sooo spirited, every hallway is decorated. Ours is the best of course. Haha I'm gonna take pictures of our hallway on monday. But it's a bummer, I hate how being in PAL.. I rarely see any friends. My good friends I've had since freshman year. I love PAL, but I'm so involved I don't see anyone. :\ I'm just glad they understand. They're amazing. I love them. And because I've been so busy lately, I only see Aaron like once a week -_- This better change next month!

Well even if I love him, I seriously can't think this way. I can't think that he's actually perfect. It's just too soon. I'm just expecting too much too soon and I'm going to end up hurting myself in the end because what if he really isn't perfect for me? It's just a whole role I'm giving him. I tell him he's perfect because that's what I think and that's the thing.. I can't believe everything I think. But I mean it makes sense.. when you're in love you're blind. Oblivious to things you don't realize until later. I'm trying my best not to be blinded though, I've done a pretty bangin job though.. balancing out bf, school, family, and friends (: So let's hope I keep up the good work. Lol

So I've come to realize that.. I'm in love (: I really do love him. I love the way he looks at me. It's not one of those awkward eye contact type of moments, but that moment where you're just looking straight at them and you share a special moment just by looking back at them. The butterflies I get just by a simple smile from him, or thinking about him. Which I think about him very often. Lol of course (x I love the fact that I'm not bothered by him touching me, I love it actually. I crave for it. Lmao I love how I don't ever want to let go of him when we hug. I feel so safe in his arms. Like nothing could ever hurt me. I'm comfortable being around him and his family. He's all I want to talk about. He actually IS all I talk about. The thrill I go through with every kiss he gives me on my forehead. Every gentle touch is a comfortable feeling yet it excites me inside. I just love the fact that he understands me so well. He treats me like a princess, and gives me everything I want. I joked around about having a Stitch plushie, yet he got it for me instantly. He's like my perfect boyfriend I've always wanted.. I've always wanted a sweet, respectful gentleman who's responsible and knows what they want in life, the type of person where I can have intellectual conversations with without having to dumb it down and they would understand me instantly. They not only tell me cute things to get me by but show it in every possible way they can. Not afraid to tell me how they feel or speak their mind. Make me feel special by talking about me or showing me off to friends and family. The humorous type of person to always make me smile and laugh. Tease me and make fun of me whenever I do silly/odd things. Someone who's not afraid to hurt my feelings and speak whatever is on their mind. There's so much more to my ideal boyfriend but I mean, EVERYTHING I've said.. Aaron IS that.. I mean the kid practically gave me the summer romance of my dreams, he gave me my first kiss, he gives me feelings no one has ever given me, and I feel like he's my perfect match.. I love him <3

It's fucking annoying how you act like a child. You little twat son of a bitch. "I thought you were fixing that computer, why are you watching tv?" Fuck your face. BITCH. Leave him be. "Is that sonofabitch over? She can go slut up the place. You're such a liar." Bitch you're no fucking different. YOU LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING. You're the rudest person I have ever encountered in my entire life. I can't stand your existence right now. I want to rip your face off right now. I'm BEYOND pissed. First Alex was pissing me off and now you. What the fuck is this madness. You bitch ass nigga. Always acting fake and giving everyone an attitude like you're a fucking teenager. Bitch you're like 52, you're too old for that shit. Grow the fuck up.

So I realized 2 things today.

1) I'm either very bitchy, irritable, and moody when I'm tired or very lovey dovey, loopy, and nice when I'm tired.

2) If Aaron went to my school, he would be sitting next to me at our graduation. It's times like that where I wish he went to my school. But he naturally hates Vegas, while I hate on Rancho and Eldorado. Lolol

Got to see my baby love todaaaay :) Today has been such a great day, I go to orchestra all bummy yet everyone complimented me saying I looked pretty smashing. Lol well in my words they did. Lmao Uhm then I got to go home and sleep for awhile, I started on hw then went to Albertsons and met up w/ Aaron. He bought me Starbucks, I got 2 bc the lady made mine all funky, then this niggggga.. he bought my shit! I was supposed to buy my things but he like refused to let me buy it. He literally paid like $78!! The haaail? He didn't even complain. He offered. He got upset that I wanted to pay for my shit. I can't even right now.. but anyways, I love how we went around Albertsons buying groceries. I felt like a little married couple. Hahaha Then my mom picked us up, she sorta ish likes him now.. the bitch better.. but anyways, yepp! That was with Aaron, and thennn I spent some quality time with my wife Emmeline! Lol I've missed that girl, catching up with her was good. Her meeting was at 5 so I had to leave early, mine's at 7 soo I have to wait a bit. Anywho, yeah.. today was a good day! (:

Thank the lord for this day man. I'm so happy I don't have to go to school. I'm gonna go sleep in a bit. But I need to let out some thoughts.

I can't help but feel like you're doubting our relationship again -_- It's like it's hard for you to understand that I won't ever leave you. If anything, I'm scared you would leave me. I have so many flaws it's not even funny. Yes you mean a lot to me, it would severely crush me to lose you. But why think that now? It bothers me a bit that you like to talk/think dirty a lot but it's fine.. if that's how you are then so be it. Idgaf. I'll straight up tell you when you're getting annoying. I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I do it to everyone else, you're no different. I wish you could stop saying sorry for the littlest things. It's like you have a very guilty conscience. And for what? What have you done so bad to make you have such a guilty conscience? I get it. You've lost a lot of girls from certain things you've done. I'm NOT like them. I'm pretty understanding, so it shouldn't be a problem. But in time, you'll learn to trust me better. I mean I've been opening up in baby steps.. soo we'll see how things go from here. We're progressing, at least that's a plus (:

I honestly have never ever felt this happy in my life. I can't even explain in words how much he makes me feel. It's great ya know? Knowing that we're both falling in love with eachother. In a way to some people it would seem so soon, but not to me. If my teacher can fall in love with his wife the instant he saw her (love at first sight moment.) then why can't I fall in love in a matter of a measly couple of months? I think falling in love is different for each individual. For some it happens at the moment, in a day, weeks, months, a year. It really depends on each person. And I'm really content with everything we have. It's so freakin gushy I swear. Everything I have with Aaron is like a love story. It's like Dear John, The Notebook, and Aladdin or something all mushed together. Lmao I actually do believe I'd be the first to get married, now that I know how I feel about him and how he feels about me. Apparently of all the girls he's gone out with I'm literally the best of all of them. I give him feelings that those other girls have never given him. I'm the most attractive of all of them. Lmao and the plus is.. his family loves me! (: Kehehe. I have his family in the palm of my hands. Muahaha. just kidding. He's everything I've always wanted, my everything, he's literally perfect for me. My missing puzzle piece. We're alike in so many ways, yet different in other ways. He understands me so well, I don't even have to explain myself or finish my sentence and he would know how I feel. He's the one person who wants to make my wishes/dreams come true, who has made my wishes come true, who will make them come true. And now I know what makes him so special.. he's my perfect half. Everything he says to me, everything he does, just about everything about him is perfect. And I couldn't ask for anything better.

I love my school! I love how spirited we are, it's crazy ;) Seniors won at the spirit competition against the freshmeat, sophomores, and juniors! Woot woot! That's wassup! Walking into the gym as a Senior was so overwhelming.. it hit me finally to realize that this is it! Senior year! Lol It's just.. crazy. I feel terrbile :( I promised Dena that I would spend her birthday with her, I freakin planned this for weeks, I've been excited and EVERYTHING. But my parents had to ruin it for me. They last minute changed everything and told me "Oh we're doing this today.. blahblahblah.. do you want me to call in sick?.. you're the one who messed up your plans.. blahblahblah" I argued with my parents because I wanted to go to her Cabana party. She just haaad to have it at the fucking M Resort. If it wasn't so damn far my parents wouldn't bitch at me. Now, I feel like she's mad at me because her "soul sister" / close friend isn't there with her to celebrate with at her 17th bday party. :\ I feel like a jerk, but it's not my fault. I hope she's not mad.

Yesterday was my birthday (: And it was quite wonderful if I say so myself. I had a lot of compliments and Happy Birthday comments from fb, twitter, and at school. My 7th period sang Happy Birthday to me, and I spent about 2 1/2 hours with Aaron and his family. Lol I wish I had more time with him but his family just loves cock blocking. It's so funny how alike me and Aaron are. It's like he's the guy version of me. (x I love it. He says things I would say, his sarcasm and humor is perfect, he does things that I wouldn't expect. He makes me go crazy inside, and I get all nervous and shy around him. -_- But I love the way he makes me feel. Lmao I wish I could see him soon :( I was supposed to hangout with him on Monday but my dad's making me work with him or something. He told me this in advanced like weeks ago so I can't refuse bc I already said yes. *sigh* but it's okay. Aaron's mine <3 Finally. Lol I can always see him whenever. It fuckin sucks cause the bitch doesn't drive. Not even a permit -___- whatever I guesss. I can't really say much because I'm no better. Lol We just go hand in hand (x

So this is a little

Today was one of the best birthdays ever (: I've had so many compliments on my outfit, I've had