bahumbug:)

so i just got home from churchh(: i talked to ginger which felt like ages. she's gonna have a prayer meeting next week:D yayy! Haha eww, i can't believe Angelo was there. he's soooo weird! i wonder why he doesn't talk to anybody when i'm around him at church?? how odd?? and it's hilarious how everyone calls him Aj now. like wthh. hahahah what. is he like considered cool now? ewww. i can't believe he's going to east!!! i was just like, *gasp!* he goes to east?? i swearrrr he went to eldorado. ewww. weirrrd. what's even weirder is that, sometimes i feel like i wanna talk to him. idk why, he always seems like a loner that's why, and wthh. is his feet like abnormally huge? cause he's always worn bigass shoes!! bigfoot lookin ass. lmfao aww. that's meaaan"/ ehh whatev. gahhhh i hate it when me and jan are alone at home at night. it scares the hell out of me because I DON'T HAVE A FLIPPING PHONE!!!! wth are we going to do if something happens. gawwwwsh. ughh daddy better be home soooon>:p

thisbook>:p

is making me like mad? or dissappointed. well okay idkk. but i'm not really likin this book so farrr>:( i love it but i hate it, although i find the movie better. the mom may have been annoying in the movie buuut, ooooweeee. this bozo is freaking worse in this booook! and i don't like ANYONE in this book so far, except for Anna. The brother does all kinds of drugs and no one even cares, Kate is pretty much the center of attention as always, but NO ONE, i repeat, NO ONE, pays any attention to Anna. It's sooooo WRONG!! how can they just do that? ya knowww?! gawwwwsh. and they seem all like depressing, there's NO humor at all whatsoever. some parts may be funny, but only if you picture some parts of the movie that MAKES it funny! in the flippen movie the whole family is all loving and they all get along good, here it's just like a black & white silent movie.. boring, depressing, etc. etc. I really did like Kate in the movie but in this one i just don't at all. She didn't even tell Anna to sell her necklace or get a lawyer or anything! It was mainly Anna's idea. Anna is supposedly 13 and taller than Kate. tell me why i can't imagine thaat! i picture Anna as a 12 year old being hella shorter than her sister! then then, in the movie Sara & Jesse are blonde, and Kate & Brian have dark hair. the book says it's switched around! Sara & Jesse have dark hair & Kate & Brian have blonde hair! wtff is that. well it's not much of a change it just bothers the crap outta me. Hahaha Suzanne, Sara's sister is like suppose to be rich and all, but they didn't really explain much of her in the movie, the only crap they had right in both the book and movie is that, Suzanne is GORGEOUS:D buuut maan. grr to this stupid effing booook>:p it better get goood by the time i get to the middle>_< Lol i'm all waiting for the damn tears but all my eyes are doing is slowly drifting into a sleep and closing every 'part' I get to. blah.

(:

aw snaap, i forgot to blog yesterday. ehh whatever, i'll try to do this on a daily basis. but yeah like i said i shall try. Lol
i can't wait til she gets glasses:p she's gonna look so different, and it'll help her, she's always like, i can't see that. what does that say? grr. i guess i'm the only one in our family with good eyesight, wootwoot:DD
gawwwsh. David makes me soooo happy. i just don't know what i'm gonna do if i ever break his heart again. i really really do like him and all but a part of me is just like, ehhh. buut i mean i have to try to keep holding on. i can't keep thinking that way. we've never even gone on a date and i'm kinda scared or nervous to. but i really want to, but something is holding me back. i keep postponing our plans and stuff and making up excuses. well those excuses are reall buut something is just wrong with me. but i'm sure i'll never go on a date with him soon cause they might divorce and i need to be here for jan. my life has been crappy lately i don't know if our relationship could last because i always have to come up with things to stop our plans. ughhhh i'm freakin going crazyy>_<
blahh.

MySister'sKeeper<3

yayyy i got My Sister's Keeper(: i can't believe i'm excited i'm reading again! hahaha so far it's pretty sad. it's not oh-my-god-i'm-gonna-cry sad but it's just sad that the parents feel so helpless when they find out Kate has Leukemia"/ when Sara says, "Just so you know, i won't let Kate die." it just made me feel so sorry, even more sorry when Brian, the dad, starts crying on her shoulder:,/ how sad.

ughh. well they kinda stopped arguing? nahhh. there's still yelling but it's not as bad.. i'm just so fed up with all the yelling over money. it's so stupid. i HATE money>_< it screws everything up for me..

ahh. Kendra:p so the new episode tonight just blew me away. gawwsh, like her mothers reaction when she announced she was preggo to everyone, i couldn't believe how mean her mom was. it really upset kendra. she was crying infront of her family and stuff. awww:,( buut isss all cool now they talked it all over and yeah, the wedding at the playboy mansion is a nice idea, she freakin had the same idea i wanted as the colors! grr. Lol but mines different, i want Lavender & Pearl she chose Lavender & Lilac. but they're stilll prettyy:D i want the bridemaids dresses to be Lavender just like kendra's bridemaids. pshh i'm not technically copying but yeahh. yippee can't wait til the next episode:p

Lumos Maxima!;p

besterrrr. i miss youu:) maybe when you come back from cali we could hangout somedayy. hahah this wholee day i was like, damnit! i neeed abby, my hair is effin thick:O hahah then i was like gawsh i miss abby:p shiiiiz nigga what am i gonna do without you(: lmfao oh and tell me why i can't wait for your bday?;) haha i just wanna celebrate it for some reason. hahah
anytways;

oh gawwwsh. whata dayyy"/
i waaas happy this morning, for no apparent reason, i just kept smiling(: lmfao but then morning came to unnecessary arguing and crying. i hate hearing and watching them argue over the stupidest reasons ever. i honestly think they neeed marriage counseling, i'll freakin pay for it if that's what they need. seriously, but thank god that they came and brought the kids. it kinda helped her i guess. it definitely calmed her downn that's fersureeee:p
omgg. so we went to target right, and omggg. they have a lotttt of crap i want! hahaha like i want scarves, sunglasses, some blouses, && cardigans theree. they even have my books i want! gawwd i LOVEE targett:DD lmfao i'm sucha weirdo. whatever. i'm aweosme. haha
ewww. so i took down alllll my posters on my wall. it was irritating me. i'm just gonna start all over again, i just want that thingy that kathleen uses for her posters! idek wth she used i forgot>_< grr. oh well. and this time it's not gonna just be a twilight wall. eff twilight now, i'm soo over it, i still love it and all but it's getting boring and stuff. shoot. i think i wanna add freakin harry potter to my wall. lmfao i think i love harry potter more than twilight:o idkk it's whatevers.

(;

blahh. i don't really know what to blog about todayyy.
i'll make something up i guess.

uhhhhm, so i'm watching Footloose and it's actually quite interesting. i cannnnot believe dancing was illegal in this movie? like wthh. and no one could listen to music because that's illegal tooo. buut i guess i understand why they made it illegal cause people got into drugs and got into fights and stuff. but stillllll. music isn't the cause of that. it's the peoples faults. it's their actions and stupidity that causes all that crap. having dancing and music outlawed is just, STUPID! good thing that chicago kid came to town cause that weirdo town needed music. Hahaha

oh gawwwsh. i hate being lazy. i really need to clean my room>:p it's gotten awfully messy, i can barely see my bed!!:O lmfao i guess i'll do it right now. orr after the movie>:) whatever, i'm gonna keep procrastinating about this.

ahhh. i lahhhhv Battlefield by Jordan Sparks(: i keeep listening to it, I love singing it too, it's a reallly good song. i'm fersuree gonna have it on my "ipod" if i ever get one. lmfao

aww(:

Jonathan Lipnicki was such an adorable little kiddd!! ew, now he's ew. lmfao:p he's not thaaat bad. he's just not adorable anymore. hahah buut aww, he was sooo cute and funny in Jerry Maguire. "you talk too much" or "*gasp* you said fuck:o don't worry i won't tell:)" lmfao it was sooo cute when he said it. i freakin loved him in The Little Vampire. he walked sooo funny, like something was riding up his asssxP and he'd speed walk the shxt off. hahahah buut it was so cuteee(: i just wanna pinch his cheeeeks:D lmfao

random Goals & Dreams;p

let's seeeee, i wanna:
~Bungy Jump the Brooklyn Bridge

~Skydive over Disney World or Paris, France

~Visit Central Park(or get married there)

~Go to New York for Christmas

~Go to one of these colleges-
*UNLV
*Berkeley
*Stanford Univ.
*Juilliard

~Learn how to play the Harp

~Have my Dream wedding

~Meet celebrities/ Befriend a celebrity-i doubt it"/ buut i could dream right. Lol

~Make a scrapbook on a good day.

~Go to Cali w/ Abby:p

~Go to Dave & Busters for my 18th Birthday

~Rent a Playboy suite for my 21st Birthday

~Have a clubbing & drinking experience w/ besterrs(:

~Eat snails w/ Abby in France( if you still want to )

~Travel around Europe & Asia

~Marry a rich guy w/ a Vineyard.

~Go to a reall carnival.

~Go to a concert

~Get a signed autograph birthday card from a celebrity for Abby

to be continued...:)

Stupidlilsisters>:p

grrr to Jan>:( she's being such a brat. we try to take care of her and she treats us like effin dog shiz. gawwwsh. not even a thank you>_< stupid bratty girrl. ugh.
anywho;
so the weekend was pretty okay. i had fun here and there but sometimes i feel like we shouldn't be there. I don't want them arguing because of us. it's probably not even us, maybe it's just because we're there. I wanted to stay over there only because to get away from arguing but no matter where i go i guess it follows:/ unfortunately I had to come home to a sicky daddy"/ grr. his high blood is freakishly high, like no lie. blahhh. omgg. i can't wait til next weeks Hannah Montana! it looks pretty goood:p hahah
eww. Jan is such a freakin cheater when playing Uno! gahh! she kept winning! rawwr. hahaha buut i won in speed && in slap jack so woot woot to her i guess. Lol
hmmm. This is going to go to my goals list. ahaha but one day i want to go to california w/ my besterr:) if that day everrr comes true ima start a scrap book of our adventures and pretty much our friendship. I want to look back someday and say, "you see that. that was MY best friend:p" Lol ily beshtie(;

ladeeda(;

i'm definitely feeling better. jojo and zayus made me laugh yesterday, so it took things off mah mind:p grrrr. michael is being a bad boy, he won't stop throwing crap at me, and everytime i tell him to do something or not to do something he'll keeeep saying NO! grr. this boyeeeh. aww mannnn. i hope abby's not mad me"/ i didn't reply cause i didn't want to say anything else, she was practically right about everything. she's always usually right about stuff. that shows how much she knows about me. gawsh. EVERYTHING. Lol hm, oh well. i feel like saying sorrrrrry like a million times. i just don't know what to do now. omgg! jojo showed me like a website about creating your own wedding dress and ring! whata bombdiggity website! lol i lahhhhhhv the food at jo's house. just saying. hahaha i hate that i always gain weight when i comeover. hahah oh oh oh . I LOVEEEE TARGET!!! it has like everything on my listttt! it's amazing! lmao it's cheaper too! shooot, i don't have to go to barnes & noble as much noww. lol

-_-

interesting day i guess.
going to jojo's crib for the weekend to get things off my mind, or at least calm down a bit. gawwwd i hate how she always defends her, or talks about her like she's the center of the whole freakin world. "you have to support her jessica, you have to understand what she's going through, you don't know how she's feeling...etc." like wthhhh. really?? i talk to her more than you knoww! leave me the fxck alone! you don't even know what's going on. ughh. support her.. shiiit. i already do stop getting on my ass for it. you act like i'm never there for my own sister. wtfe. she doesn't revolve around the world mom. get a job. do something in your life. you're suppose to be thinking about our family. not jojo. she haaas her own life. it's not bad to think about her every now and then. but she can't always be the center of your life. you have your own life to take care of. you barely take care of yourself. or us. it's always her. i swear, you neeeed to sort out your priorities cause everyone can't always tell you what to do, even IF you don't listen to anyone. you NEED to take care of yourself.

Harry Potter!!(:

ohemgeeeeh:O today was just AMAZING:P i had so much fun seeing everyone! i didn't realize i missed a lot of people:) ew, jovonie is just. ehh. his boyfriend was uhm.. wow.. it's hard to describe. lmfao i just wanted to keeeeep laughing evertime i saw his face, i couldn't believe it. jovonie had better taste than that. but it's aighht. jovonie is jovonie. gawwwd. i hate that everytime jovonie is near me or something i cuss like a lot! i can't help it though, he get's on my nerves most of the time. i'm gonna have to start all over now. ugh. tomorrow will be the first day of no cussing. hahah buuuut omg. i held hands with DAVIDDD! it was amazing! well not really. hahaha i was so nervous. my heart felt like it was gonna explode! i bet he felt the vibration my heart made! oh gawwwsh. but it definitely made me HAPPY:D it annoyed me though, he tried to make the first move in HARRY POTTER! gawsh mann! it's harry potter! i'm trying to pay attention! lol but "snuggling" with david just made me realize, i'm DEFINITELY NOT the snuggling type. lmao i don't even think i'm the hand holding type either. but idk we'll see.(: wooahh.. nathaniel looked purple to me:O but he looked gooood. hahaha ew. gawshh i felt bad that i didn't really talk to david, i didn't feel good after watching my sister's keeper. like i felt the same way i did last time i watched it but not as bad, i wanted to faint last time, but this time i felt lightheaded and tired, more like exhausted. it was weird. awww kathaleen looked so prettyyy(: abby made me laugh a lot today(: i just hope her slapping thing doesn't become a habit:P lmao hmm.

abby if you're reading this, don't get offended or anything kayh, i just want you to know the truth. but it really bothers me everytime you and kathleen talk about how both your mothers always come on time and everything. like really? it's hard enough for me to know my parents are always late. i try my best to shake it off and ignore it but it really does bother me especially to have my BEST FRIENDS say it. to be honest, it actually hurts me. and i've noticed most of the time you guys do it, my parents are around, or even before they come pick us up. i can't do anything about it either, i've realized i've been a mean person before and i don't wanna just tell you guys to shutup when it comes up, i don't wanna be that way anymore, and i knoww kathleen. if i say something like that, she'll be like, "dayumm wth is wrong with her?" do you know how that makes me feel? and lately i haven't been happy. i feel a little happy but its not enough to keep me from being worried and paranoid all the time. my mom must be on menopause, cause this whole week and the way she's been treating me, it's been getting out of hand, and when my parents argue it just scares me now that i'm older. it really does. when the volume is loud on the tv in other rooms, i'll assume right away that they're arguing and right away i get all shaky and slightly afraid. and my parents are the kind of people who would tell their kids that they're getting a divorce. and idk anymore. i actually feel like a divorce would be good. but at the same time it wouldn't be. i just don't wanna go through this and then hear my best friends say things that bother me, it just adds on to my problems, ya know what i mean? but yeah... kayh bye.

ew.

today was alright. but i can't believe you straight up said i was jealous of janisse! is that who you think i am? a jealous person? wtf is wrong you? why do you treat me this way! i'm no different than Jojo or Jan. why me? just because i complain about you spoiling them doesn't mean i'm jealous! it's not fair how you treat me! i never ask for anything like they do. i try to earn my shit! unlike them! and you think they're better than me? well you never said it, but it seems that you're implying it everytime this comes up! who the fuck do you think i am? your friend? i'm your damn daughter! treat me like one! you don't tell your daughters they're jealous of their siblings you dumb fuck! all i ask for is a decent day for once. you say you hate it when daddy puts me down but look. you are no different than he is. you both are the same. bipolar lookin asses. you come barging into my room yelling at me like i did something wrong! i was taking care of jan. you don't even take care of her. i can practically be her mother if you were gone. all you do is blame shit on me, put me down, and go bipolar on me. it's the worst thing to deal with everyday. & how the hell do i intimidate you? like wthck is that? really? intimidate you and jan? okayyy? wtfe stupid. gawwd. i don't even know if i can take living with you anymore. maybe having a divorce is better for all of us:'(

sml.

today was horrible. i wanted to cry after she made me pissed off over and over again. allllll she's been doing lately is lie to me. when will she ever commit to her promises? and she never admits her mistakes, she always blames it on me. i'm always the blame for everything. i'm tired of her. seriously. ugh. well the good thing today was watching Definitely, Maybe. that was the cutest movie everrr. gawwsh what upset me early in the morning was that freakin Jan won the bet! ughhh. i hate losing money, even though it's not that much! grrr. whateva, chedda. i didn't need those coins. well i can't wait til wednesday(: 2 more days, woot woot. i totally got a cute colored nail polish:P i wanna get all my clothes and stuff from my list before school starts:) stupid jojo always complains that i wear her clothes, and for once, i want my own clothes, instead of being known to use her crap. eff her. gawsh. "oh i like that belt, i wonder whose it is." her unecessary sarcasm ruins my mood all the time. it's worse that she over does it, especially that most of the clothes i wear are hers. well you know what! i'm not using your clothes anymore Josephine! so leave me the flip alone! i'm literally giving ALLLL her things back. so yeah, i'm done:D

woww.

today, was actually okay.
NO arguing. whatsoever. i wish it were like that more often.
ahahah i don't understand why they're sleeping?
it's too early for that. they didn't do anything all day? weirdo parents.
omgg. lasts night's Harper's Island hella freaked me out!! ughh i hate that it was the finale"/
it was a really good season. i'm still freaked out, lmao. i couldn't believe he was the killer even though i knew it from the start, i guess i didn't wanna believe it cause he played a good guy role from the beginning.
stupid psychotic Henry, being obsessed over Abby. shoot. i didn't even know if he meant he loved her brother and sister way, best friend way, or ewww relationship way.. lmao iss whateva chedda(:
lol i keep flicking jan, it's funnyyyy:P
YIPPEE:) can't wait til wednesday! 3 more days, wootwoot(:
ugh. i just wish i knew what time we're going on wednesday, and know who's going.
oh well, i guess i'll seee soon:)

my life.

sucks ass. i'm tired of hearing them argue every night, i never have enough sleep because of them. i cry so much at night that i don't even think i can cry anymore. gawwwwwd i hate herrrrrrr. she doesn't do shit!! who the hell is the mother in this household, me or her?! she doesn't cook, she lies all the damn time, argues almost every breathing second! she doesn't even clean, she doesn't take care of her family! I DO EVERYTHING. i'm only 14! i neeeeed a life! i'm tired of all this responsibility! she's fucking psychotic! i make plans for my future, and she says it's bad and that it's making mistakes. wtfff is that! it's my life! i make my own mistakes bitch! mind your own fucking businesss! you lying ass motherfucking bastard! money is your obsession, you breathe it, live it, want it, and desire it, thats why your like this! you're fucking psychotic! it's the only shit you care about! i don't give a fuck if you have a job or not bitch! i'm only acting like this cause the more you obsess and care less about us the more i act "disrespectful." the only way you'll earn respect is giving respect to others, dumbasss! you never respect others! you have NO manners you old bastard! you talk shit about ANYONE like your the bitch of the world! well bitch, FUCK YOU. the world doesn't revolve around you, get a life! and stop lying! i'm tired of your bullshit. i'm tired of EVERYTHING.

omggg.

i'm fucking tired of all the bullshit! why are guys doing this to me! what did i ever do to deserve this shit! i'm not a liar. i'm not jealous of my sisters. wtff do you want from me! my life?! what the fuck did i do? you're always crying! you're always arguing! you take out your anger on me! i'm always irritable. because of you! do you know how it feels to live with someone with trust issues like you do?! i don't even know who to trust anymore! he wouldn't fuckin touch you if you just stopped arguing! what the hell is wrong with you?! wtff>:'(