It's sad how much I miss Aaron right now -_- I saw him yesterday, and spent time with him last Sunday. Sometimes I just wish I had more time with him.. I feel like not even 10 hours spending time with him is enough. *sigh* Sadlife.

Aaron was so freakin cute yesterday. Haha He was reaaaally lovey dovey and he wouldn't let go of me and wouldn't stop kissing me. Kris was hilarious, "I'm gonna duct tape both of your faces together one day, k? K got it." Me and Aaron: "Yeah I wouldn't mind that." Kris: "Try getting duct tape off of your hair Jess, it'll rip off and I'll laugh." Me: ":( that's mean." Aaron: "Haha try super glue!" Kris: "Naw I wouldn't use super glue that's too mean, yeah you're right. Nevermind, I'll be nicer and use scotch tape!" LOL this fool. When were in line, Aaron tried kissing me but I was trying to avoid his kisses but freakin Kris.. he pushed our heads together and was like "Yes Jessica! Suck face already, geez." lmfao I love him. Gosh, I love it when Aaron gives me soft kisses. They're my favorite <3

My weekend was greaaaat! I mean there were little things but whatever. I spent Friday w/ Kris, Kristine, Jan, and my mom shopping for a prom dress and I found the perfect one! :D I just need jewelry and shoes and I'm goood. We went to Cane's for dinner and I saw Natasha! I didn't know she worked there and it was really great seeing her. Down side to my night was talking on the phone with Aaron that night, it was the first time talking late at night with him in a very long time and it was.. not really good. We kinda argued. I yelled at him a little bit. Told him my opinions. How I've been feeling lately annnnd it pretty much ended in a bad note. I went to sleep at 2:45 in the morning.

Saturday came along, I woke up at 6:26. I went to the Global Youth Service at UNLV for my PAL Leadership class and had an okay time. It was fuckin hot and Allie was annoying the shit out of me. I hate her voice, it pisses me off. The choices she makes annoy the shit out of me too. Like seriously, do you think you're so fuckin cool dating a 21 year old? Trying to get high and get drunk all the fuckin time. Making yourself sound like a slut every time you talk and shit. Always having drama with other people. Ugh god. People these days. Then when Aaron arrived at my house, I can't believe they were making a scene! I hate how my parents fight in front of my friends and Aaron, it's embarrassing. THAT was the annoying part of my day but other than that I had such a great day! Omg. So we went to Pure Aloha and we ran into A LOT of people we knew, I ran into Liz and Eleazar and they stuck with us all day which was fun because I love Liz and I haven't seen Eleazar in a lonnng time, I've missed him. We all got fresh coconuts and drank from them, which was delicious! Aaron got bbq & rice, and we all watched hawaiian comedians and performances from Mango Kingz. The comedians were sooo funny! "You filipino?" "Yeah I'm filipino." "Yeah I used to be filipino, I quit. Now I'm haole." Lmfao then Mango Kingz were good! They sang a lot of covers of my favorite hawaiian songs. Like Cool Down and Ehu Girl by Kolohe Kai. I was singing the whole time. Haha (x I swear, I'm meant to be hawaiian dude. Then afterwards we walked around and ran into so many people and then decided to get shaved ice. When we finished eating our shaved ice we all got hungry and went to johnny rockets to end the night. Got home like at 10 ish. It was great! :)

*sigh* I just hope this passes. I hate it when we go through shit like this..

It's always my fault that we argue.. but what am I supposed to do? Keep everything inside and let you make me unhappy? I tell you what's on my mind because you tell me to.. you're just like me. Keeping things bottled up. I do that all the time, but with you I'm pretty much obligated to tell you what's on my mind. God, I hate how we end some nights. It's not like we're fighting but it ends up on a negative note. Which makes me feel guilty for having to be so hard to deal with.. :\ That's why I've been doubting you lately, because I KNOW I'm hard to deal with, I WILL get bitchy, hypocritical, bipolar, and a pain in the ass but that's up to you to deal with. Sometimes I just feel like you're gonna get tired of dealing with my shit, and just leave. To honest, that's my sad expectation of you and everyone else. Considering how many times people in my life come and go, it's like an automatic expectation.. that everyone's going to leave me at some point. I understand that people come in and out of our lives, and I can't force people to stay in my life if they don't want to. I will gladly open the door for those who choose to leave because someone's decision to leave tells me that they've given up on something that we had and I'm not fighting for someone who won't fight for me anymore. Simple.

I always seem to yell at him.. idk why. It's hard for me to really speak my mind without being mad. When something pisses me off, I yell. It's the only way I can really express myself. I can't seem to work things out in a calmly manner unless it's something minor. Sadly. It's just that things have bottled up and last night was when it exploded. I guess everything I've predicted was true. You think idk that we're not in the honeymoon phase? It's been like this for months. Our honeymoon phase was in September-October dude. Now it's different, I know that my feelings for you have gotten a lot stronger but it's like lately you just haven't seem to have a care in the fucking world. Sometimes I feel like you don't want to talk to me anymore. I told you before that we should limit talking, and now that you're parents have actually said something to you, now it's like okay with you? You used to fight. You used to not like the fact that we didn't talk. Now.. *sigh* idk. I know you love me, but sometimes I just question you sometimes. You claim it's an obligation to say I love you and shit like that but it's not. I'm not forcing you to love me, I'm not forcing you to stay. All I'm asking is if you adjust to the way I've been raised, tradition, culture, and all. Yeah, we both grew up differently but that's the thing we have to face together adjusting to the way each other was raised. I know I don't have the best manners, I wasn't raised with manners really. I mean I'm aware of it but my parents were terrible with discipline and manners. I was raised in a very negative environment where yelling at each other was a constant thing. My family and I have tempers, and that's just how it's always been. I can't help that I get mad so easily. I really can't, that's why I apologize a lot. I mean I know I say sorry at the wrong times, maybe a bit too much or little too late but at least I still set aside my pride to apologize. I could pull a fuckin Erwin and just twist everything around, blame everything on you, and make everything seem like it's your fault but no, I make sure I'm at fault when I know I do something wrong because I'd set aside my pride sometimes just enough to keep you.

Thoughts seem to always be at its best at night. Everything I've been thinking for the past few days poured out last night... I honestly think I AM pmsing, because I've been emotional, yelled at Jan and Aaron within these last few days, and broke out a lot lately :(

I'm so fucking annoyed. I hate how you complain about me bringing you to church that one day. I'm sorry you're not religious, but if you really loved me enough you would brush it off. I understand why you complain.. but it's out of respect. It means a lot to me, and having you go to church brings respect to my family. It's my family's impression on you that YOU are putting on the line. Then I ask you to try a strawberry filled w/ nutella that I made. Out of kindness I offered to give you the last one and I wanted you to try it because it was really good, but you didn't even bother trying it. "You know I don't eat fruits.." Even with filipino food! You judge it. You don't even try it because it's different. It pisses me off. Why don't you try considering new things, it's not bad to try things that are different. You fucking stubborn ass. Kristine had to force you to try the pancit and lumpia, and look.. by the end of the day you kept getting more lumpia. Stupid dumb ass. Omg. -_- I am SO happy Crystal went off on you.. Kris: "Here, please have a crepe. I feel bad." Aaron: "Uhh.." Crystal: "Are you gonna be an asshole about it?" Aaron: "What?" Me: (x Hahaha "Oh god I love you. Good job!" Aaron: "Uh no I'll eat it.." Then you kept messing with me! Like I get it, it's funny sometimes but sometimes it really gets annoying. "You know I love you." "Fine then, I'm leaving." Don't use those against me.. you're gonna do it so much that it'll lose its meaning and when you actually mean it one day I won't realize it.. What if you end up leaving me for reals? What if you expect me to run after you but I end up not doing it? It's like the boy who cried wolf. You're gonna do it so much that it'll get to the point where I won't care anymore. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW you love me, but that doesn't give you an excuse. Messing with me has its limits. It's funny the first couple of times but after awhile it gets annoying.

Why do I associate myself with all these drama llamas, shit -_-
Erwin and Joey with their abnormal relationship.
Kristine with her shit talking and boy problems.
Kris and his.. idk, boy problems I guess.
Adrian and his fucking attention whore lookin ass. Tryna fuckin get pity from everyone, shit.
The only people w/o drama is Emmeline, Aaron, Jan, and Tyrone. Gawd, I love my ohana but sometimes they fuckin piss me off -____-

My April Fools joke was HILARIOUS. But mean. But sooo worth it! Hahaha (x
Me: Babe..
Me: I have some good news.. & some bad news..
Aaron: Yes?
Me: Bad news.. I tested positive.. :\
Me: Good news.. April Fools! Lmfao (x
Aaron: Babe that was fucked up. Lol I love you, I literally jumped up at the 1st text. Haha

Gosh, he makes me so happy :) I'm glad he came over on Friday. Talking about our future, making insiders, watching one of my favorite chick flicks, making him go to church, bringing him to Barnes & Noble, cuddling, taking pictures, giving each other gifts. I've never been so happy.. I really love him <3