I really don't know how I feel right now. It's so sad how I've been thinking lately. I've been paranoid about Aaron wanting to break up with me. I've been sad because I'm over here missing him so much while I feel like he doesn't give a shit. I'm tired of feeling so distant from him. I hate feeling like this. I hate myself because I feel like I've gotten so fucking clingy. I don't even want to call anymore because I feel like his family hates me. They have problems with us talking and him not going to their last camping trip to go to my graduation. Sometimes I think about being single. Then sometimes I forget I'm in a fucking relationship. Omg. Idk what's wrong with me lately. I don't even feel the same anymore. I don't know what I feel honestly. I feel heartbroken, unhappy, confused, scared, and paranoid. I feel like I'm gonna lose him sometimes. I feel like everything is my fault. I feel like I haven't made enough of an effort in our relationship. I feel like I haven't done shit. I feel like everything's kicking me in the ass right now and I'm slowly losing him. But he tells me he loves me forever and always now and forever and he tells me I won't lose him but no matter how many times he says it I can't fully believe it. I want to believe every word but I can't. I'm scared.. I'm hurting.. I just feel like I'm slowly losing a part of me. Idkkk.

In a way, it's such a relief that I'm on my period right now... Omg thinking back on it now, I have no idea why I was mad at Aaron for not calling that one night. I mean I told him specifically that we had to limit talking.. Problem was, I didn't establish "not talking" this week, I specifically told him next week considering that this week is prom week and I'd need to contact him a lot regarding prom plans and everything else that's going on for this weekend. But no, he decided(without any fucking warning) that we wouldn't be talking this fucking week.. shit.. -__-

I seriously hate pmsing.. I get so moody, and find little ways to get mad at everyone, especially Aaron. :\ I feel bad that I do that though, I don't like being the sour person who brings everyone's moods down. *sigh*