So apparently I went on an emotional rampage yesterday according to my family-_- I guesss. I just wish they knew how they treat me, I wish they knew how I felt, and what I have to deal with. But they're all so narrow minded, I can't seem to reason with them and tell them how I feel without "being emotional" or "being disrespectful" They never consider how I feel or consider what I go through, it's just the way they see me. In my perspective, I feel that my parents see me as weak and fragile. But when I do push myself, or do things that they want me to do it's like they don't even acknowledge it or appreciate it. I'm never good enough for them. I can never reach their standards at all. I always have to try to impress them just to feel like they care for me. Cause frankly, I honestly don't think they care about me. I feel like I don't matter to them. They always give Jan and Jojo better treatment. They give them whatever they want without fighting with them. And I fight with them, because they don't give me what I want or need unless I do something about it. Whatever I do, I always seem to always end up being the problem child. The emotional child. The lazy child. or The responsible child. TELL ME what you freakin want from me. I'm either lazy or responsible, I'm either fat or I lost weight, I'm either good or disrespectful. I'm never good enough for you guys and I'm under pressure! That's why I was so irritable because I have to live up to your standards! I have to try to impress my own parents just to have their attention and no matter how hard I try I'm just not good enough.

Ya know, I can't wait to move out and live on my own. I'll be working my ass off, not for you, but for MYSELF. I'll be successful and you know what, I can't wait to prove you all wrong.