I like seriously don't even know why I'm awake right now. What the effff. I feel tired but I can't sleep. It's like my thoughts are keeping me awake. I guess it's because I never really took the time to really think about what I've done. About myself, about my parents, about Jan, about David, about friends, about Aaron. It's just all coming at me all at once. And it's hitting me now. Realizing this past year went from want, to have, to i don't really have what i want yet, to you're so confusing, to now I know who the fake bitches are in my life, to fuck my life sucks, to sad, bitter and apathetic, to damn how is possible to feel this way again, to i really want you; to you know what, i'm going to have you. I will because you want me too. It's like it's too good to be true. But it IS true, so it's like surreal. I never planned on having a summer romance. I remember dreaming of having one but I didn't realize I'd have one for myself. And to think I could compare my romance to a novel/movie. It's so cliche, my whole relationship. But it's happening, no matter how unreal I keep thinking it is. It's just hard for me to believe someone I LIKE like, finally likes ME. Well technically he liked me first but you know.. whatever. Lol The point of the matter is.. idk what the point of the matter is. It still surprises me I guess. Ha I'm thankful though, so even if this were a dream in some alternate dream reality type inception shit, I'm sure glad to have this.