I'm having a feeling I'll be depressed for awhile. I'm not purposely doing it just for sympathy or pity or whatever it might be. Plus, who would want to be sad? It hurts like a bitch. I feel like every little thing that has an ounce of "mean" could just make me cry. It's weird. I'm being way too emotional and sensitive right now, and I hate it. But I don't know what to do, I'm just really sad.

I think I'm like taking this whole cousin thing to the heart dude. It's crazy. This morning, when I said 'Hi' to her, it felt like saying Hi to a stranger, I don't really know how to explain it. But that's just how it felt, weirrrdO_o. And at our meeting today, she brought Katie(Patricia's bf's sister) and some girl named Sam. The whole entire time, she didn't even talk to me, or even say "Hi." Which was another thing that upset me. But anyways, I guess Katie was supposed to be on one of the lists for the Easter Party and cousin hesitated to say Katie's name, she was like, "Ka.. tie. Oops, I almost said wifey." And when she did that, it felt like a stab in the heart. That sudden pain was so unexpected, I didn't think it would hurt me. Maybe it's because she used to always do that with me, "Je..ssica. Yeah, I was about to say cousin. Oops. Haha" It might seem like jealousy, but to be honest.. it's not. I'm not jealous of Katie at all, I have no reason to.. that pain was just simply the feeling of being replaced:\ And that feeling sucks. My friendship with Patricia won't be the same anymore, I just know it. I accept that though, I'm gonna lose and gain friends, but it's just going to be hard getting used to how things are beginning to be, that's all.