Why is this feeling coming back to me.. it's like David all over again. Omg wtf is wrong with me -_- Once I have it, it's like... I don't want it anymore. Idek. I feel like that spark we had 10 months ago is dying out every single day. I miss what we used to have. How whenever we talked, it was about anything that came to mind and it made me "happy." Nowadays it's like, when we talk.. I just don't even want to talk to you anymore. No one makes much of an effort anymore, you don't even listen to me when I'm talking. You either pay attention to Alan, Jacob, Roxy, tv, or video games. Sometimes I just don't even want to say I love you anymore, you abuse it. I love you is just a sentence now. It doesn't even have meaning much anymore. I love you, yes... I do. That's how I've felt for you for the longest time and I still do, but I don't know what I want anymore. I'm lost and confused about what I want. Last week, I had no idea how I felt about you, and now I don't know whether I want you anymore. I just hate how you took my problem for these past few weeks as a fucking joke. You thought I was mad at you. Why the fuck? I wasn't mad. I was lost and hurt. I didn't know how I felt, I felt like breaking up with you and that still didn't even mean shit to you. The effort we once had is just gone. My mind will always question whether to keep you or not. My mind never sleeps. Everyone and their fucking relationship seem sooo amazing right now and I wish I had that but I don't. I'm not really happy anymore.

It's pretty sad how a part of me wants to just end everything.. I just want to give up. But what would be my reason? Is it worth it? Is it really what I want? Do I have the guts to even do it? Why.. why am I feeling like this. Sad fucking life right now.