Well my older sister's reaction went as I expected..
I just hate this, I'm straddled between what I think is right for myself and how I feel.
I put my trust in him, and he's convinced me that he's changed, but then this happens and it's like.. do I really want this? A guy who doesn't have a plan B and may not have a future? I can do so much better than this.. but not only have I given him my trust but I've given him my care. I have grown to love him and everything about him, but it's the decisions he's made in life that's pushing me away.. I want to have a man that takes care of himself, that knows what he wants.. or at least have an idea of what he wants for his life, a guy that can provide for himself and further provide for me as well(with my assistance of course). Then there's the thing, I care so much for this guy, I've seemed to find every way to defend him. He's stolen my heart. It would hurt me so much to lose him, but I want what's best for me at the same time. I know I've changed him so far, but I can't always tell him to change. He has to make the effort to do it himself, he needs to change for himself. I'm not a babysitter, I'm not his conscience, nor am I his mother..
Until the day he proves to me that he's got his shit together, will be the day everything will be fine, but if he can't manage to change, I don't want anything to do with him anymore. I love him, but I can't have him dragging me down when I've already have problems of my own, he's just adding more problems and stress on me having to remind him to get his shit together, be more responsible, I really don't need that right now.. it gives me a headache just thinking about it. Smh. -_-