Honestly, you CAN leave Tj, but you choose not to. That's why it's hard for you to let go of him bc you've gotten so attached to him and grew to love him that you believe you can't. But you have to be realistic here.. You can't tell yourself "What if this.. what if that.. what if he's really not perfect, it's just what i think.." Well how would you know if you haven't tried? How often do you find guys who respectfully asks to take you out on a date? Do you realize how rare that is? Nick could be the perfect person for you and you wouldn't even know it because you're holding on to someone who you've had history with, who knows you better than any guy you know. That's the thing though.. you let Tj get to know you well enough to KNOW you. But what about Nick? Would about the next guy that comes around? They could get to know you like the back of their hand if you let them. I'm not trying to imply that you should leave Tj and just stick with this Nick guy but you have to not only think about what you WANT but what you NEED. You want to stay with Tj, that's cool. But if you guys aren't established. Then what are you doing? You can't sit around "thinking" or "wanting" a relationship to work out when clearly it's not working out. There's only so many chances you can have to make something work until you realize, you can't fix something that's already broken. You said it yourself.. you wanted this year to be different, Tj couldn't mess up your year, but that's what's happening here. All I'm saying is.. go for it. Talk to Nick. Get to know him, let him get to know you. If you start to like him, okay cool. You're human, there's no harm in liking another guy. Why question whether it'll affect your decision? Of course it'll affect your decision. Obviously you're going to have to choose between the two. No doubt about it. In the end, it's up to you to choose what's best for you.