I want us to last, I don’t wanna have a great, amazing couple of months and then all of a sudden its over. I don’t want to experience the feeling of being lost, confused, and hurt all over again. I wanna be with you. And I want us to last, no matter how hard any situation is, no matter what/who comes between us.

This is LITERALLY EXACTLY how I feel. This is WHY I'm scared. Why I doubt myself, why I worry he really doesn't mean it when he wants to be with me. Because what if, all these texts and things we say to eachother are nothing but words to him? What if I'm just another girl to him? What if.. he's just like everyone else.. sticking with me for awhile, making a huge impact in my life, and all of sudden.. he leaves me at my lowest..

I'm just sick and tired of people telling me, "I'm always here for you." "I love you so much." "I miss you" "You're such a great friend to me." "I don't think you could ever lose me." "Don't worry, we'll be great friends for a long time." FUCK ALL YOU NIGGAS WHO LIED TO ME. FUCK YOU. I'm sick of it. I just don't know if I could handle anymore people coming into my life. I get attached so easily. It hurts me so much.. whether they were friends or family.. it just hurts. When I say these things like "I love you" or "I miss you." or "You mean so much to me." I seriously mean it. From the bottom of my heart I mean it. And when people just walk all over me it's just like.. how is that I could be so loyal and get treated this way? There are reasons why I hate people. And this is one of them. Loyalty and trust mean A LOT to me. Why is it that it's so hard for people to do such a simple action. And I seriously hate it when people just throw "I love you" around like it's nothing. Don't say it if you don't mean it, geez. But I mean I guess. Whatever floats your freakin boat dude. "I love you" is more of an action rather than a word. So it's whatevers, those are the people I needa look out for. The ones that show me they love me. Those are the ones worth keeping and sticking to.