So for the past few months, Patricia and I have been drifting apart day after day after day. And I got to that point where I accepted it, it hurt me but I couldn't keep it from hurting me anymore. She was a really great friend to me for most of high school and I just couldn't stand her not being my friend anymore. We were so close that I called her my cousin, and my mom made her mom my ninang, and I thought we were going to be friends for a very long time. You'd wonder why the whole "drifting apart from friends" thing bothered me so much. I wasn't being obsessive or anything, it's just.. I was really attached. My expectations about our friendship dropped and it just left me in disappointment. In myself. In her. Like at that time I needed her the most, my parents were fighting so much that I needed that one best friend to keep me from staying focused, and being happy, and just that support. Ya know? But she left when I needed her the most. And that's what hurt me the most, and that's when I just pretty much gave up on our friendship. Things literally went down hill, we barely talk. I don't see her the same way I used to. We don't tell eachother anything. The only things I say to her is "Hi cousin!" I stopped using her locker, I took all my shit out. And honestly, I don't even trust her anymore. It's thaat bad. And the weird thing was, I had a dream about her last night. Usually I'd tell her, ya know? But it wasn't something I wanted to tell her. It was more of my subconscious telling me something. Telling me that, as much as I deny it.. I really do miss her. In my dream, all we did was hang out and go everywhere together. It felt like old times, like things never changed between us. But I woke up and reality slapped me in the face.