I can't live like this anymore. Scared and paranoid. Every time they fight I feel like taking a gun to my head and pull the trigger. At least that way I know my life would be peaceful.. Know one gets it. I mean I don't expect everyone to understand or know how I feel, it's just that.. I hate feeling alone. Feeling like I'm the only one who goes through this everyday. I don't want to live with either of them. My moms psycho, my dads abusive. How do you pick between the 2? I say, neither. It's safer that way. I wish I lived on my own. I wouldn't have to deal with this. I stopped crying a long time ago, and I hope it continues to stay this way. But inside I feel like crying a water fall, ripping my insides out, and just terrible things. I really need therapy. But I looked it up and it said that if abuse is involved, then they'd have to report it because it's according to law. But I'm not ready for that. I don't want either of them to get sent to the slammer. They both put it on eachother and what am I supposed to do with that. That's what sucks.. being stuck in the middle all the time:(