Wow. Today was, actually better than usual. Ginger actually helped me remember how it felt to be happy again. How to laugh and for awhile that pain i've been having disappeared, and everything I was sad about didn't even exist. But then when it was time to leave, that feeling came back.. it reminded me of why I was sad, and now I'm kind of back to those wretched feelings that haunt me night and day. Ugh! I hate this! I hate the fact that I started the quarter this way. My grades were pretty good in 3rd quarter, but w/ everything happening and me getting all depressed effected the way I dealt w/ school. I became REALLY apathetic towards my grades and EVERYTHING. I didn't talk to many of my friends, and at one point I just stopped caring about doing homework and tests. It was a really bad way to start the quarter. So starting today, I'm getting on top of things. Idk if my feelings will change but I can't start slacking at the beginning of 4th quarter while school is ending pretty soon. It's a new start. I have change things. NOW.