I'm tired.. of being tired, of being here, dealing with her bullshitty ass, and just.. everything.
I've never really felt so drained. I'm not happy anymore. Well not really, but it's hard for me to stay..HAPPY. Because it eventually gets ruined. I spent the day w/ daddy and ya know, it was reaaally good. I haven't had father/daughter time w/ him in a lonnng time. Everytime we came home though, she would ruin it. With all her bullshit. "Why don't you just go stay w/ your gf." "She called, so many times guys." "You're gonna miss us Jo, especially because we won't be together anymore, it'll be me and Jess." The fuck? Are you onnnn something? When did I decide ANYTHING? Where are you getting all your lies? It's so dissappointing how you can't just be HAPPY. How you can't be satisfied w/ the things you're given, how you can't even trust anyone but yourself. You're a selfish, self-centered, money hungry, shit talking bitch. I can't believe you think if you split up w/ him, I'm going to go w/ your crazy ass. Do you not know what kind of shit you say to me? How you treat me? You fucking said you regretted having me, and it was a mistake to be with my dad. You treat me like shit, then you go back to "Jessicaaaa, I love you." "Don't leave me okay?" "You're going to take care of me right?" Like fuuuck. You're guilt tripping me and it's making me feel worse than I already do.
And school is killing me! I'm terrified! That I won't pass the Science proficiency again-_______- Damn you Science, why are you so hard to understand? I don't comprende you at allll. I have a homework overload this weekend(of all freakin weekends) and on top of that I have to practice my violin, and study the damn proficiency! That's why I haven't called anyone this weekend. I'm so stressed!
With homework, Proficiencies, Festival coming up, getting my permit, and of course.. the one and only. My mom:|
I wish I could just sail away across the ocean, to Australia, kick it on a nice beach and just be at peace w/ myself. Have a peace of mind and just relax.
