Oh damn.

Before I go to sleep, I just read my post I wrote on my birthday. And DAYUMMMMM. I wish I knew how to be that strong 4 to 5 months freakin later. Just last Monday I cried over that dickup, and I guess Monday, January 24th, 2011 was the real and official date I decided to be permanently done and over with P.M. I should've realized it from the beginning that we weren't meant to be friends. He was a jerk from the start, and I just couldn't see it. I guess I was blinded from the feelings I kept, and how much I cared for him, but I'm not letting those old feelings blind me anymore. What he did, hurt me A LOT, and he's never going to have another chance. No one is EVER going to get away with treating me like that, and have my friendship back. He's such a heartless dick. "Why should I try to fix a friendship that was never a friendship in the beginning?" Oh reaaally? Is that so? Do you really believe that? After the time I spent being there for you on Christmas Eve trying to cheer your sappy ass up, you're saying that I was never a friend to you? Did you even mean it when you said you loved me? Did you really care for me the day I cried at school? Did I mean ANYTHING to you? That's what I'll always question in the back of my mind. You'll just be nothing but my past, just like MC. The fact that I was considering to give you another chance? Yeah, No. That really disgusts me, because you were a jerk from the very beginning and you know what? That's all I ever did for you, I gave you chance after chance, and I kept getting hurt over and over again, for a damn year! and the fact that I considered you as my friend, to find out in the end you'd betray me. All you did was play this "Oh I'm a sweet and nice guy" role that everyone believed, while I was over here seeing your true colors. You gave up on a great "friendship." I know deep down you'll regret everything you did to me, Karma will definitely beat you in the ass, and your conscious will eat you inside and out. You know what disappoints me? You didn't even try to give the time to get to know me better. You don't really know ME, i'm full of surprises yo. Lol and oh my damn dude! Sadies? I would've done so much for you! I actually would've spent probably $100 for Sadies. On just the 2 of us, even if we went as friends. Ya know I actually think, Sadies would've been a blast! Oh well, you threw away that great opportunity. Tsk tsk, shame on you, smh(: You have no idea what a great loss you just had in your life, I would've been there for you no matter what, everytime you needed a friend I would've been there and that's something that didn't process through your mind, but who knows, maybe you'll realize it later on in life. It'll just be too late. It's your loss, sorry bud. But I sure do wanna thank you, after this experience.. I've gotten stronger and i'm glad to have learned it the hard way, it was an awful lot of pain and you know what, everyday's a struggle, you just get stronger and stronger from them and you learn from it;D uh well I'm done, that's all I've gotta say, so toodaloo motherfucker! Here's to the past.